-I Used My Therapist Tits As Stress Balls & Now I'm In Legal Trouble
-You Got To Know Your Audience.....Mine Is Anyone Stuck Listening
-I Feel A Great Sense Of Belonging At The Psych Ward
-Where Can I Buy A Nice Cozy Tempurpedic Deathbed On A Strippers' Salary?
-Let's Get The Old Gang Bang Back Together...
-Do You Like Seafood!? Good! Cause I Got Crabs!!!
-Does My Bulimia Make You Nervosa? Take A Xanax...
-Why Did I Get Fired For Nodding On The Toilet At Work?! It's Called A Rest Room!!!
-Silent But Deadly Farts Have Social Anxiety.... That's Why They're So Quiet.....
-I Am A Serious Writer... Of Erotic Fan-Fiction, Suicide Notes, & Grocery List That Read Vodka & Potatoes Chips
-I'm So Excited & I Just Can't Hide It... Seriously Someone Help.... Get Me Some Tape
-The Only Thing More Useless Than You Is Non-Alcoholic Beer...
-There's No Such Thing As A Tough Pill To Swallow... I Love Pills
-My Chronic Depression Isn't Just A Passing Case Of The Blues....It's A Case Of The Reggae's
-I Do, Do Drugs.... I Shit You Not
-I Honestly Need To Get Better At Lying
-An Orgasm A Day Keeps The Doctor Away....
-Workaholics Anonymous.... It Works If You Don't Work It....
-Ask A Queer What An 8-Ball Is & He'll Tell You It's 4
Guys.....
-She Said I Came On Too Strong... That Must Mean She Thinks I'm A Sexy Muscle Man....That's The Only Thing It Could Mean....
-When Nappy Hair Turns A Chick On....It'S Called An Afro-Disiac
-Codeine Makes A Great Pancake Syrup....You're Welcome
